The Ins and Outs of Buffing and Polishing

I’ve had many an unpleasant job as I’m sure you all have. However, looking back I can now see that they have taught me a valuable lesson: marry someone rich. Just kidding there folks….sort of…but not really. Sorry Connor, we are done, consider this my two week’s notice. Unless you become rich in the next two weeks in which case, I love you, I always have, I want to marry you.

So, one of my favorite horrible jobs was buffing and polishing jewelry for the home shopping network at a local factory in Keene, NH while attending college. I started there as seasonal help before Christmas one year so I could make some extra cash and buy my family gifts. Why? Because I’m pretty much da’ bomb, also, I’m clearly in my mid-thirties because I just said ‘da bomb’. You got a problem?

The first day on the job I was told several things from my supervisor:

1. Always wear your safety glasses lest some Dimondique (just a little something I learned on the job, no big deal) stud comes flying out of your hand and stabs your eye.

2. Never over buff or polish hollow jewelry or you will put a hole in it.

3. Always put a wad of medical tape around your thumb as to not buff or polish the skin off your finger.

4. Lastly, never, under any circumstance wear loose clothing. The issue with loose clothing is that your sleeve can get caught in the steel rod (which sticks out at the end of your machine and spins your buffing and polishing wheels).

“If your sleeve gets caught on the metal rod then it will twirl up and break your arm off. “

That’s what my supervisor said but I was pretty sure she added the breaking of the arm piece to make our job seem more dangerous, sort of like being a Navy Seal. And since being a Navy Seal and buffing and polishing jewelry are pretty much interchangeable they have also become interchangeable on my resume as well. Moving on.

The things that my supervisor didn’t tell me yet I learned relatively quickly on the job:

1. There are approximately ten buffing and polishing machines which are attached to one central ‘blower’. The blower suctions all of the buffing and polishing debris from your machine into a central bucket so you don’t inhale any harmful substances. Well, the closer you are to the ‘blower’ the better this works. Conversely, if you are on one of the machines that are the farthest from the blower, you can pretty much go f’ yourself because you spend eight hours inhaling crap. As a new person, you don’t know this and may wonder why your coworkers always stick you at the end machines. You also may wonder why at the end of every shift your face is totally covered in gray dust and everyone else’s seems just fine. Lastly you may wonder why people point and laugh at you. I actually still wonder that.

2. People don’t want you to work too fast. This is simply to create job security. As a veteran buffer said to my friend Amy when she too decided to take a job as a jewelry buffer and polisher, “Girl, you better slow down. You’re going to put us all out of work. This aint no damn race.”

3. Lastly, the people who do this line of work are a tight knit bunch. It takes a lot for them to warm up to new people. They pretty much assume when you walk through that door, that you will not be able to adhere to the instructions which were laid out to you on the first day. What were they thinking? Did they think I couldn’t handle this job? Pffffft, apparently they never met the likes of me.

Day two, buffing and polishing 12K gold cat pins. Hollow. Must be careful and not make any holes. Wearing my safety glasses. Sitting at the end machine with dust flying all over the place. Solid concentration. Nobody, I say nobody, will out buff and polish me today. I’m focused. I’m in the zone. I’m showing these people what’s what. I’m feeling a small tug on my men’s extra large J Crew cable knit sweater sleeve? Hmmm…what could that…? F.

I realized that the cuff of my sweater had gotten caught on the spinning rod at the end of my machine and within a fraction of a second I pulled my arm out of my sweater sleeve. The sleeve spun around the metal rod all the way up to my shoulder and I was stuck against my buffer and polisher. The wheels could not turn anymore and the whole contraption made a loud noise sort of like a fog horn which turned everyone’s attention in the factory to me. I could not reach the on and off switch with my other hand so I did what I always do when I’m at a loss. I smiled. Yes, I sat there smiling like an idiot while the machine that I was attached to was letting off large plumes of smoke and making sounds that probably woke up the neighborhood.

I locked eyes with my supervisor who was pushing chairs and open mouthed coworkers out of her way to get to my machine. There was a smell of burning and I committed to going down with my buffer and polisher. We had a good run of it. We shared some moments. We had some laughs. But fate had other plans for me. My supervisor turned the switch to ‘off’. The noise slowly ceased and silence filled the factory. I stood there for a few more seconds; smile still plastered on my face. It took a bit of time to finally muster up enough courage to move. I unrolled my sweater from the machine and put my arm back into my sleeve which was so stretched out that it hung to the floor. I looked at my supervisor and thanked her ‘for saving my life’. Yes, I actually said that.

With a couple of quiet laughs and murmurs everyone went back to their work. I did the same, after a brief second rundown of rules 1-4 with my supervisor, and spent the next three hours of my shift contemplating coming home empty handed for Christmas.